Steamed Hams, But Skinner loves steam and long pauses

Steamed Hams, But Skinner loves steam and long pauses

Prompt: Country, melancholy, americana, traditional country, male singer

Lyrics

Well Seymour I made it, despite your directions
Ah Superintendent Chalmers
I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon
oh egads, my roast is ruined
But what if... I were to purchase fast food 
And disguise it as my own cooking?
Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish Seymour
Skinner with his crazy explanations,
The superintendent's gonna need his medication,
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
Seeee-mooouuuuur!
Superintendent! I was just...
just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! 
Steam from the steamed clams we're having. 
Mmmm, steamed clams!
Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.
I thought we were having steamed clams.
Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. That's what I call hamburgers.
You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?
Yes! It's a regional dialect.
Uh-huh. Er, what region?
Uh...upstate New York?
Really? Well, I'm from Utica
And I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
I see.
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar 
To the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Hohoho, no! Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe!
For steamed hams?
Yes.
Yes, and you call them steamed hams, 
Despite the fact they are obviously grilled?

Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
Of course.
Ahh, Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Yes, I should be- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!
Aurora Borealis?
Ah- AURORA BOREALIS!? AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AT THIS TIME OF DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN!?

Yes.
...May I see it? 
...No.
SEYMOUR, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!

No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights.

Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.

HEEEELP!!! HEEEELP!!

And there you have it, that's the entirety of steamed hams, voiced by AI.
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